New love life

Let me just say now, even at the age of 21 I don’t really have anyone I would like to date. I guess more then that I don’t think there is anyone to date or who would date me. There was this one guy in Japanese class who sat a little bit behind me. He was really cute and I wanted to talk to him, but my Japanese isn’t that good and he had a friend who he did homework with all the time. I think they talked on Skype and stuff together everyday. Anyway I did talk to him but it was like… Hey do you get this? Cause I don’t. Yeah he was cute though… I enjoyed talking to him when I did.

There is another guy who I am kinda interested in too. Hm.. am I even interested in him? I don’t really know. We take a lot of classes together so I see him a lot more then I see some of my other class mates. I think he is a cool person but.. I don’t really know if I like him in that sense. I had a dream where I saw him and this other girl kissing, um then I spent the rest of the dream being shocked that they were kissing. When I woke up it was just.. Why in the world was I shocked like that… honestly.. really.. what in the world does it mean?! The kissing thing was like 3 seconds in my dream then I spent the rest of like 4 hours being shocked about it. It felt so pointless and stuff… I also spent a great deal of time awake thinking about it. It made me think, do I like this guy? Is that why I was so shocked? After all that thinking I do not think I would date him. I mean he is a nice person and everything, but relationships are different from being just friends. I think I romanticize romance more then I should, also a part of me feels like I would expect too much from that person and not give back as much as I should.

That guy who lives next to me.

I have a neighbor who lives right next door to me, and before I started school we always played together. I never thought of him as a love interest. I mean the reason we stopped talking to each other was because he didn’t invite me to his birthday party one year. Then again I didn’t really invite him to mine, (not that I had any birthday parties). I think his family was mad cause we had some cypress trees that they used for shade and so we kinda cut them down, Yeah they were unhappy about that. We really just played together that’s it.

So in high school there was a guy named Richard. We had the same Japanese class and stuff so we were pretty good friends. Now when I was playing truth or dare with some of my friends they asked who I liked and I said I like Richard’s sense of clothing style. Then they started being all giddy and saying that the likeness will turn into like romance stuff. Now I don’t really think that I would like him that way cause his is kinda like… to anime¬†weeaboo thing… and he cant sing well… but he thinks he can. It was pretty bad. Anyway I think they told him and he started avoiding me. Not that I cared it was pretty meh to me. I mean I don’t like you? What in the world are you doing? Anyway I kinda thought it was funny cause I heard stories of how he has done that before with a girl named Angela. He found out that she liked him and started doing everything in his power to stay away from her. I think that she really like him so I mean… That’s kind of a jerk move right there.

I failed the childhood friend route

So I have this neighbor who I have known since before I started grade school. Honestly I did see him in a romantic light, but after 4 grade he started going to an all boys school and became a top student there. Then he started the journey of the traditional meet your girlfriend at that all girls school just across the street. At those school every year there is a party and all the girls and boys meet up for socializing purposes, each school takes turns hosting that party. Now it’s known to all the students that if you want a romantic relationship the only time is at those parties, so when they meet up almost no dancing is done and there is just a lot of trading phone numbers and emails. Its common to marry your high school sweet heart and send your kids to the all boy/girl schools. Anyway, he got a girlfriend and… yeah he got a girlfriend, there is really nothing else to say. Before my romance started it ended, he is really cute and good looking and his family has so many vacation homes. Every year they go to some place exotic and because his family has a good relationship with mine they always give us stuff. He studies at brown university in the USA, he now has a job at Google and… I don’t know. We are the same age but he is just so much more farther in life. It just makes me feel bad, it feels like he has everything. I think I am more jelly over the fact that he is so successful in life then romantically liking him now. Why cant my family be lawyers and I get a job at Google :C.

Oh well he is cute.

Something about romance

A friend said he would write blogs about his love life if I wrote them too. So here I am writing about how I sit at home doing nothing and avoiding people. One day maybe I’ll run into my dokidoki university life senpai. But today just isn’t that day.