New love life

Let me just say now, even at the age of 21 I don’t really have anyone I would like to date. I guess more then that I don’t think there is anyone to date or who would date me. There was this one guy in Japanese class who sat a little bit behind me. He was really cute and I wanted to talk to him, but my Japanese isn’t that good and he had a friend who he did homework with all the time. I think they talked on Skype and stuff together everyday. Anyway I did talk to him but it was like… Hey do you get this? Cause I don’t. Yeah he was cute though… I enjoyed talking to him when I did.

There is another guy who I am kinda interested in too. Hm.. am I even interested in him? I don’t really know. We take a lot of classes together so I see him a lot more then I see some of my other class mates. I think he is a cool person but.. I don’t really know if I like him in that sense. I had a dream where I saw him and this other girl kissing, um then I spent the rest of the dream being shocked that they were kissing. When I woke up it was just.. Why in the world was I shocked like that… honestly.. really.. what in the world does it mean?! The kissing thing was like 3 seconds in my dream then I spent the rest of like 4 hours being shocked about it. It felt so pointless and stuff… I also spent a great deal of time awake thinking about it. It made me think, do I like this guy? Is that why I was so shocked? After all that thinking I do not think I would date him. I mean he is a nice person and everything, but relationships are different from being just friends. I think I romanticize romance more then I should, also a part of me feels like I would expect too much from that person and not give back as much as I should.

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