Feeling awful

I havent cried this much in a while. This whole week has been pretty hard for me.

I say hard to but I guess the bad stuff started yesterday.

My mother got really mad at me for the mess the dowstairs were in.

In the end its my own fault, when people come over I am responsible for everything they do. But… is it really too much to ask… when you break something please tell me so I can fix it…

All this stuff is just too much… I dont think I’ll have people over for a while.

Anyway I got in a lot of trouble for it. I was called a lot of things I do not wish to repeat. The worst part is, it really is all my fault. I could say noting back to my parents.

IT really hurt a lot… so to make myself feel better I ended up cooking a lot of food. As much unhealthy food as I could.

Even when making everything though I wasn’t hungry at all.. haha… I just made it and ended up putting everything away.. I think I ate like 1 small bowl cause I felt I should rebel against my diet somehow.

I mean all I made was Japanese curry with hard boiled eggs… and potato korroke lol

I was to tired to deep fry so I made the korroke today. I ate like 3

I ate some curry this morning too.. I couldn’t eat it all so I ate the rest of it for lunch…

THEN MY AUNT CAME. She is.. uh… a little….. overweight. yes.. lets say that.

Anyway as well still feeling completely awful she started to lecture me on how unhealthy I am. How I should watch what I eat and stuff… man what a punch to the gut.

Then with dt calling me retarded… ugh I’m just a mess.

I guess he is right though.. maybe I should just not say anything. I dont know anything about esports. I guess I dont really care about it either. Really… if only I didnt say anything. I’m so dumb

Im just complaining I guess I have a job lined up for dec I just need to wait it out. Maybe if I spend more time reading or something I wont feel tempted to say stupid things.

I’m was going to do stuff today.. but I spent most of it just feeling sorry for myself

God what am I doing.


One thought on “Feeling awful

  1. I didn’t respond to this a month+ ago, but: you shouldn’t stay quiet if you don’t know what’s going on. If you stay quiet you’ll be ignorant forever. If you say something, you’re only ignorant for that moment.


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